There is a debate as to whether or not marriage counseling is effective. Some individuals claim that it cannot save any marital union at all. On the other hand, some people also say that this mode of counseling has helped them reunite with the ones they love. Because of different views, many couples are having difficulty in determining if marriage counseling or therapy is something that they could try.
Take note that it is essential to know how effective marriage counseling can be. First of all, it involves a significant amount of money for the sessions. You need to create a budget to pay for the costs of the services provided by the counselor or therapist. If it is not useful, then you might as well do away with it, right? Second, it is time-consuming for both you and your partner. You may want to save your energy and time doing something else if counseling will not offer any benefit for the relationship. As explained by Dana Baduna, PhD, LMFT, “Through the counseling process, couples find ways to improve their level of relationship satisfaction, sometimes they can also identify obstacles or characteristics that are too much to bear for either person or for the relationship to overcome.”
So What’s The Real Deal?
The truth is that marriage counseling is both effective and not, depending on the attending circumstances of each case. Unfortunately, some marriages have been wholly damaged to the point that it can no longer be repaired even with the assistance of a professional. When parties to a marital union have given up on each other, you cannot expect that counseling sessions can still turn things around. Conversely, if both parties are more than willing to settle the differences and issues that they have in the marriage, then there is a high likelihood that a counselor can help them get back together. “While divorce may be necessary and the healthiest choice for some, others may wish to try to salvage whatever is left of the union.” Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP said.
What Are The Common Problems In Counseling?
Below is a list of the common reasons why some couples end up getting a divorce even if they have sought professional help from a therapist or counselor:
- The problems are rooted from the beginning of the marriage, and they have remained unresolved for an extended period.
- The marriage had long ended before the husband and wife decided to get marriage counseling.
- The parties are not willing to cooperate or participate in the sessions.
- The therapist sought is not qualified nor licensed to handle marriage counseling.
- There is a presence of verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse that is too difficult to ignore or forgive any spouse.
How Can Counseling Work?
Check the list below for some of the excellent results that counseling can offer if done properly and at an early stage:
- The husband and wife can have a new and fresh perspective on their relationship and future together.
- The married couple can get ideas on how they could improve their communication with one another.
- The spouses can learn the right ways to handle issues arising in their marital union, especially when it comes to raising the kids.
- They can find better methods to resolve their conflicts so that they could move on right away.
The bottom line is that marriage counseling works and does not work at the same time. It depends on the efforts shown by the married couple in saving their relationship.
“Even better, these insights and skills that you’ll gain from marriage counseling and couples therapy can have great and lasting benefits in your other relationships, including in your relationships with colleagues, children, and other family members.” –Julie Williams, Psy.D.