Is Marriage Counseling Effective?


There are several reasons why a marriage fails. A married couple needs to understand that their union does not only depend on how much they love each other. It is also crucial for them to consider other factors that can lead to their separation. If you are a married individual, then you are probably aware that even if you have so much love for the other spouse, there will come a time when you would experience difficulties that can make you think about divorce.


Fortunately, there are many ways on how you can resolve the issues affecting your marriage and one of which is to seek for professional help. Nowadays, you can already get in touch with professional marriage counselors who can provide their expert advice about your current situation.  “Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life.” Chris Corbett, PsyD said. In this article, we are going to share with you the top reasons why marriage counseling is an effective method of resolving marital issues:


Pinpoints The Root Cause

Did you know that many marriages fail without the parties fully knowing the primary reasons why it happened? All they know is that they have grown far away from each other, but they cannot pinpoint the exact root causes that lead to the separation. “Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like”  Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC explains. This problem can be solved with the assistance of a marriage counselor. This professional can help you and your partner to identify the root cause of issues in the relationship. As such, you have a better chance of addressing the problems while they are still fresh or new.


Reminds You Of Happy Memories

According to Katrina Bilhimer, Ma, LMHC “Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of marital infidelity, something is wrong in the marriage. Either the husband or the wife is unhappy and likely both.”When a couple keeps on fighting about certain things or issues, there is a high possibility that separation will take place. The reason behind this occurrence is that they both stopped thinking about the happy memories that they shared. Instead, they will start to focus on the negative aspects or parts of the marriage. With the assistance of a relationship counselor, the parties involved will be reminded of why they married each other in the first place. They will begin to realize that they shared more happy moments than the bad ones.


Facilitates Conversations Between The Couple

Communication is essential for a successful marriage. You cannot expect the relationship to work if you do not know how to talk to your partner about all the things that affect you. Because of this, it is imperative for each spouse to find a way to engage in conversations with each other. The moment you experience challenges in talking to your partner, make sure to get in touch with a counselor immediately. This professional can help both of you to start having meaningful conversations. The communication barriers will be eliminated, which can lead to the development of a more intimate connection with each other.


In searching for a marriage counselor, it is crucial for you to ask for the recommendations of other couples who have tried the former’s services. Do not hesitate to ask around to ensure that you will not have a hard time finding the perfect counselor. Be sure to act fast so that the issues can be resolved at their early stages.


Why You Need to Start Practicing The Shame-Attacking Exercise (With The Help Of REBT)




What one of the issues of that Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy or REBT can help with is social anxiety. Social anxiety is pervasive among people with an AD or an Anxiety Disorder. It is characterized by extreme shyness, with anxious feelings and inability to interact with other people. An effective intervention method to this condition is shame-attacking through the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy process.


What is Shame-Attacking?

Shame-attacking is an exercise which focuses on having a public spectacle that aims to draw disapproval from the witnesses. This display of shame need not have to be that big. People can start with small crowds and in places where there are fewer passers-by when doing this exercise.

The exercise may sound severe, and I do mean, why find a way to shame yourself, right? It is even a little weird for many but, the purpose of it is to overcome social anxiety or the phobia of talking or being with to people. One must look into the broader objective of this exercise. It is created and recommended not for trivial reasons, but to help people suffering from the disorder. They have to be able to overcome, surpass and completely get away from the said condition and of course, live the life to the fullest.


How Does It Work?

By nature, a human has this “sense” bound. The human mind has limitations in handling certain situations. Usually, these restrictions keep people from responding positively to the circumstance in its fullest effect.  As Licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D. explains, “Negative thoughts are just a part of life, but they don’t have to consume you. Instead of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with positive statements.”

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy believes in the idea that it is a person’s attitude and thoughts that has control on human responses. It is not the events or the situations that the person is currently experiencing. People listen to their opinions and feel their emotions accordingly. With that, they react in a snap and without thinking, rather than assess the situation and respond for that reason.

With shame-attacking exercise, a person will get to weigh and assess himself on which factor dominates him – his emotion or his thoughts. As for that, shame-attacking exercise videos are available on the internet. People have convenient and easy access to these videos, and they can even do the exercise themselves, at their own expense.




How To Exercise REBT Techniques Concerning Shame-Attacking Exercise

Bottom line, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy believes that changing the beliefs and attitude of the person will be a big help in overcoming mental health issues like social anxiety. Doing so and repeatedly instilling in REBT techniques, the person can overcome social anxiety and his other mental health problems. Lesser adverse outcomes will surface, and the person’s perception of shameful things will eventually change.

“People with social anxiety disorder experience anxiety when faced with social situations. They do not believe their anxiety is related to an illness or disease, yet have little control over their fear of social interactions.” –Charmaine J. Simmons, LPC

With REBT, you will learn to be less sensitive and even detach your thoughts and feelings on some things that may put you on a downward spiral.  The learning process will focus on rewards and punishments. Practicing the shame-attacking exercise will help a person interpret undesirable consequences negatively to overcome their social anxiety. Does that make sense? If it doesn’t, then, you can ask an REBT expert for clarifications.

This exercise may sound scary and even unrealistic but once done over and over; the person will finally understand its essence. As stated before, this practice is for people with social anxiety. As explained by Robert Allison, MA, LPC, “When anxiety is at it’s worst and reaches the level of panic it can be debilitating and feel paralyzing. Your mind gets a little too suspicious. Suspicious of what might happen, what could happen, suspicious of other people.” Through this, it will help change their perspective on things which they consider nerve-wracking, and then eventually lead them to feel good about themselves. In time, they will gain their self-confidence which will help them face their most profound fear – interacting with others.


Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a psychotherapeutic therapy designed to help people with problems concerning people’s rational emotive behavioral and mental health. Let’s discuss more about this Behavior Therapy.


Behavior Therapy

What is rational emotive behavior therapy, and how does the treatment work?

Mental health issues that are caused by irrational and dysfunctional thinking patterns are among the many focused programs of experts dealing with Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. It is known for its particular techniques that center on the acceptance of these irrational thinking and demeanor problems.

“In cognitive behavior therapy, we pay attention to how thoughts and behaviors impact emotions. This means our emotions do not just appear in response to a situation. Rather, emotions are the result of how we think and how we act.” –Sarah Rumpf, MA, LPCC

It is conducted with the help of a trained specialist with various qualifications from college to post-graduate degrees. The role of this expert is to induce positive changes in the individual.

Not everyone can be an REBT counselor. Specialized training and certified examinations will determine before one becomes eligible for the said job. Also, the expert must first undergo some phases. These phases will equip and put the individual in a ready state before he gets into the real world of REBT.

Requirements On How To Become A Specialist

Before one becomes a certified REBT expert, one must:

  • Have a degree related to REBT. The internship certificate will do if the person has a Doctorate in Psychology.
  • Must have completed training in psychotherapy and counseling or have an internship in an institution that has to do with mental health counseling practice.
  • Membership in an associated professional organization is a must.

“Experience and credentials are important, but it’s usually the personality of a therapist and the therapeutic rapport that develops between teen and therapist that is the most important factor of all.” –Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW

Specific Training Required
If you are a graduate of a related degree, or if the person has completed an internship program, it will lead an aspiring REBT specialist to a pre-doctorate level.

After that, they can apply for a clinical fellowship. At this clinical fellowship level, an individual will undergo specialized training in the chosen career. Clinical fellowship usually lasts for a maximum of two years.

Such training will then lead to earning certification for the practice of the REBT profession.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Work Settings

Once the individual has obtained the REBT professional eligibility, he can now practice the said program. He can have a private clinic, or connect with a mental health institution. A therapist can also belong to a group that specializes in the profession or become a supervisor in a training institute. Despite the differences in work settings, the REBT professional aims to be of service to people who are depressed, stressed out, anxious, and have other mental health disorders.

talk to a professional expert.

Are There Any Benefits You Can Get From REBT Treatment?

Therapy: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

The therapist has a very different role compared to that of the traditional psychotherapy therapist. REBT is more solution-focused compared to the others, and its time span is rationally shorter regarding treatment. The program’s primary objective is to help people resolve their mental health by way of positive thinking to change their outlook.

These therapists help people in analyzing situations and sort out dysfunctional thinking patterns that can lead to self-destruction. At first, such a task can be difficult despite all the training. But with the guidance of colleagues and fellow therapists, one can sort out these issues and overcome therapeutic hurdles. Eventually, the newbie therapist can adjust to the nature of the job.

“A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it.” Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC said.

Becoming a therapist may be hard, but it can guarantee the fulfillment of helping others in letting go of their hardships.

Assisting them to surpass their “mind” problems, especially when the issue has to do with the demeanor of the person, can be rationally gratifying.

Salud rational emotive therapists!

Frequently Asked Questions

What does REBT treat?
What are the basic principles of REBT?
How is REBT different from CBT?
How is REBT applied to counseling?
What is an example of rational emotive treatment?
What is the ABC model of REBT?
Which type of treatment is most similar to Rational Emotive Therapy?
Which method is often employed in REBT?


Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Benefits

Depression can now be treated not only through medication but also through REBT. Let’s understand more about it here.

Describing a miserable life.

REBT stresses the emotive idea that it is not among those circumstances that get a person into depression, but instead, it is the seemingly smart views that are instilled in their mind.

“The most helpful definition of being positive is having hope and confidence in one’s ability to handle what’s tough, along with remembering that nothing is all negative all the time,” explains Jo Eckler, PsyD, a therapist in Austin, Texas.

How Rational Emotive BehaviorTherapy Experts Help People

The therapy intervention takes in all three irrational beliefs and transforms those into sensible, believable principles.

  1. One has to be successful to gain many’s approvals, which will define a person’s worth in society. “Our society tells us that if you talk about your issues, express your feelings, or even verbalize you have a mental health disorder, you must be “weak.”,” says Ryan Parks, M.Ed, LPCC.
  2. Many people have high expectations of themselves. They suppose others to treat them in a way they have precisely expected in their rationales. If people don’t get Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), they would feel utterly worthless.
  3. Such people desire to get everything that their hearts yearn for. If they didn’t have it, it would lead to something horrible.
Behavioral therapy intervention takes in all beliefs and transforms those into sensible and useful believable principles

Understanding The Benefits of Behavior Therapy

Some ideas as mentioned earlier if unmet can create shame, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, aggression, and even guilt. As a result, a change in feelings will take place. But with an intervention of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), people are encouraged to turn such irrational ideas into sensible ideas.

In doing so, it is believed that they will exude healthier feelings despite the conditions because, in their subconscious mind, logical ideas are already within the person’s mind. Thus, they would not react to situations negatively. “If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. explains.

The Emotive Type Of Therapy

With this, specialists will help depressed persons to accept themselves unconditionally.

It is also essential that those people around or close to them provide the same support and acknowledgment. Because of this, the treatment is very useful in minimizing the pain and other stressors in life that can contribute to a person’s depression.

How Do You Feel About REBT?

a man doing rational thinking while at work

Learn More

Since depression is common right now, it is not a surprise for people who suffer from it to find ways in avoiding or overcoming this mental health issue. The treatment is one of the many programs that people can rely on when it comes to this problem and information is all over the internet.

How Can You Find A Counselor?

There are also toll-free hotlines facilitated by professionals or websites with skilled and qualified counselors. These are available 24 hours a day. They can help people with answering some inquiries, and concerns and even provide information regarding depression and how to combat it. Recommendations are also available on such platforms.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an example of the treatment?
What are the three main beliefs of REBT?
Which type of behavioral therapy is rational emotive behavior therapy REBT )?
What is the main goal of rational emotive behavior therapy?
How does REBT therapy work?
What is difference between CBT and REBT?
What are the four core irrational beliefs from REBT?
How do I start a REBT?

Understanding Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Process

Curious about Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)? Want to know how this helps with anxiety and depression? Read this article for more info on Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). This form of therapy is effective so let’s find out how.

Learn about REBT. It use the treatment to overcome mental and emotional issues

Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT)

Wouldn’t you know –   Specialists use their techniques to overcome their petty issues! Even as professionals, therapists practice what they preach. The reason for that is the treatment is beneficial for turning negative thoughts (and actions) into a positive outlook. So instead of self-destructing, the person can be successful and accomplished.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a type of treatment program that attempts to find solutions to produce positive results. Why? The belief of the treatment is simple – people think and feel so much because of their particular beliefs. So, if they feel wrong, they will also react badly. How they manage their feelings and thoughts is innate and not from external conditions.

Sometimes the person will think irrationally and have beliefs that are illogical. We put ourselves out there and undergo more emotional conflicts like rage, disgrace, and anxiety.

“Anxiety can direct you to see that something about a situation is too important to ignore. A therapist can help you learn how to give a situation attention without it needing to be anxious attention.” –Kristine Tye, MA, LMFT

The treatment addresses what people think and feel due to conflicts like rage, disgrace, and anxiety and turning negative thoughts into a positive outlook

ABC for Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy

A doctor named Albert Ellis formulated REBT in the 1950s. He also designed this program with ABC Model in mind.

A stands for Activating Situation; the event wherein the person feels self-destructive or when he feels and acts negatively.

B stands for Beliefs; when the person thinks about the Activating Situation and has formulated his own Beliefs about it.

C stands for Consequences; it is the result of such emotional or behavioral “outbursts” or the outcome of such negative feelings.

In the ordinary sense, many believe that A can lead to C directly. For example:

“Singing in front of a large crowd makes me feel anxious.”

(“Singing in front of a large crowd” is A and “makes me feel anxious” is C.)

Now, if the treatment is about the ABC Model, then, in the example above – where is B? Why is the example only exhibiting A and C? That’s because people attribute the particular event (activating situation) directly to how they feel or act (consequences). The skip on B is the “pushing factor” for everything.

Going back, why is the person anxious? The typical answer is because of him singing in front of a large crowd. But why? What made him think or feel that he is anxious when singing in front of a large group? Karin Draper, LMFT explains, “In the lives of those experiencing anxiety, anxiety has almost always served a purpose as a survival function at some point. ”

The person is anxious because he thinks that he will choke while singing in front of a large crowd. That’s the real truth behind it. The person BELIEVES that he will fail that’s why he is anxious.

He has not done it yet and still, he BELIEVES that he will fail in front of the large crowd while singing. The belief in failing makes him anxious, and not the act of singing in front of a large group.

Is it an irrational belief? Yes, of course! An idea or a belief is something that the person thinks and feels – it is compelling. How can one believe that he will fail if he hasn’t tried it yet?


Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) Works According To Professionals – What Do Professionals Usually Say?

Dr. Albert Ellis mentions that the person has set up demands upon himself, other people, and everything around him. For some:

    1. I have to perform at my best and get the approval of people, or else I am nothing. I am insignificant.
    1. People within my space have to act a certain way and treat me like how I want to be treated or else – if they don’t do that, I will despise them, and expect punishment for them.
    1. I have to get what I want when I want it, and the world owes me that.

How do people overcome these irrational beliefs?

So, yes! There is a D and an E after ABC for this treatment, and it focuses on helping people turn their irrational beliefs into positive viewpoints.

A – What Activating Situation prompted this response?

C – What are the Consequences?

B – Why are you doing this to yourself? What are your Beliefs? Demands?

D – If your belief is correct, then, what is your evidence of such? Is there proof of the matter? Moreover, is it true?

E – How will you feel better again? What is your preference, and not a need, just to be OK?

With this, a person will learn to cope and manage his anxiety. And so, with the assistance of a specialist, a person can overcome his anxiety with the ABCDE Model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. “Believing otherwise is simply a mental trap aimed at avoidance that fails every time. Knowing you can handle your anxiety is the key to taking back control. Taking control of how we think about an anxiety provides the ballast we need to weather the storm of anxiety.” Alicia H. Clark, PsyD said.


What is an example of rational emotive behavior therapy?
What are the three main beliefs of REBT?
Which type of behavioral therapy is rational emotive behavior therapy REBT )?
What is the main goal of rational emotive behavior therapy?
How does REBT therapy work?
What is the difference between CBT and REBT?
What are the four core irrational beliefs from REBT?

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy


What Is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy?




Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a counseling treatment program initiated by Dr. Albert Ellis in the 1950’s. It is a form of psychotherapy which deals with a person’s negative thoughts and feelings. , and he is to recognize his feelings and thoughts that make him an unsuccessful person. After that, the work of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy or REBT begins.


After ascertaining these bad thoughts and feelings that make the person self-defeating, the logic of such opinions and ideas will be questioned. The point of this is for rational thinking to go into play for a more positive and productive outlook on things and life, in general. As  Alicia H. Clark, Psy.D. said, “The best progress happens when you apply what you’ve learned outside that setting, in your real life.”


The REBT Approach


When you entertain such undesirable thoughts and feelings, your actions and words will follow naturally. You will be in emotional turmoil and will behave according to how you feel and think. If your behavior is too toxic in a sense, your road to life goals will be affected. You won’t be able to achieve what you long for just because of such sentiments and beliefs.

People are not perfect, and there are times when you are down and not feeling good. It’s ok to have that moment, but like any other reasonable person, you have to get back up and inspire yourself to move on. You have to manage it yourself and cope for the better. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. advises. But there are others who can’t do that quickly, and they need all the help they can get. Rational emotive behavior therapy is one approach to do that because who wants to live in a rut and continuously spiral down, right?


Negative Emotions In Which REBT Can Help

If you are depressed or extremely sad and feeling hopeless for more than two weeks at a time, then, you can benefit from REBT. When a person feels very down, they don’t want to do anything else, and this is damaging because you’re stumped. You need to get out of that dark place and turn your negative emotions into positive ones. REBT is your therapy choice.

It will also work so well with other issues like anxiety, extreme stress, tremendous guilt, and intense anger. If you have these problems, you can always opt for REBT. It will condition your mind and get you back right on track. You don’t even have to spend a long time with this therapy approach because REBT is often a short-term program.





What You Can Expect From REBT

Experience difficulties every day, but most people get over it in a snap and go about their day without these obstacles hindering their way of thinking. For those who cannot do just that and is going around circles, there is always REBT.

What are these thoughts and feelings that keep you from moving on and be a better version of you? REBT will help you realize these questionable things in your head and heart. Once you understand these issues, REBT will help you know that it’s petty or irrational for you to think or feel this way. You will realize that these bad “vibes” will harm and destroy you, and you don’t want that to happen. Remember, “People with a healthy self-esteem tend to view failure as an event. People with low self-esteem often view failure as fatal. This thought process pummels one’s self-esteem and overtime being a failure becomes their identity.” counselor Monte Drenner says.





There will be some brain exercises using the REBT approach which will significantly better your mood and diminish those negative vibes. Aside from that, you will be able to change your attitude and make it more positive until you don’t let the negative emotions bring you down anymore. With that, REBT has done its purpose.

REBT can only be performed by professionals who have the training and skill for such approach. If this is what you want and need, then, ask for credentials before booking an appointment.