Is your marriage experiencing too much turmoil? Are you having difficulty in saving the relationship? Do you still want to try again and make things work? If you answered yes to all these inquiries, then consider yourself lucky because there are still many solutions to your problem. Luckily, you can still go through marriage counseling or couples therapy. Before engaging the services of a counselor, these are the things that you must know first:
Get The Consent Of Your Partner
The basic rule in getting a marriage counselor is to get the consent of your partner first. The decision to undergo counseling must be a mutual choice. Take note that your relationship is experiencing difficulty. Do not make the situation worse by making the other person feel that you do not value his opinion. The mere act of asking his thoughts about counseling can already spark a possibility of improving the marital union. Always remember that the key to a successful marriage is respect for each other’s decision. “Counseling to monitor and encourage that process can be valuable to those who truly want to repair and recommit to each other.” Dave Stacho LMHC explains.
Marriage Counseling Can Be Uncomfortable
Once you undergo the entire process of counseling, you need to prepare yourself for uncomfortable situations and moments. Of course, a third person will now come in to try and fix your relationship. This counselor will be the one who will encourage you to look into the marital issues and attempt to solve the problems. To make this happen, expect the therapist to ask personal questions. She may inquire about the usual issues that surface in the marital union. Be sure that you are ready to answer these questions.
Honesty Is Vital To Make It Work
Have you heard of spouses who went through marriage counseling but still ended up getting a divorce? “Even better, these insights and skills that you’ll gain from marriage counseling and couples therapy can have great and lasting benefits in your other relationships, including in your relationships with colleagues, children, and other family members.” says Julie Williams, Psy.D. This only shows that the assistance of a counselor is not a surefire way to save the marriage. Many factors must come into play to achieve your goal. You have to participate in the sessions by being honest about the issues, concerns, and matters affecting the relationship. Do not hesitate or have second thoughts in discussing it with your marriage counselor. Keep in mind that the more you open up, the easier it will be on the part of the professional counselor to come up with ideas on how to help.
Trust The Process
The first few sessions of the marriage counseling will be tough for both of you and the other spouse. You may notice that there will be more arguments and disagreements. However, if you look at the bigger picture, you will realize that the real effect is that things are starting to improve between the two of you. Do not rush in fixing the marriage through counseling. Remember that it takes time before you can fully recover from the bad part of your marital union. Learn how to trust your marriage counselor. “Through the counseling process, couples find ways to improve their level of relationship satisfaction, sometimes they can also identify obstacles or characteristics that are too much to bear for either person or for the relationship to overcome.” Dana Baduna, PhD, LMFT said.
Now that you are already aware of all these things, you can already get in touch with a professional counselor. Look for someone who is considered as an expert in the field.