Category: REBT and Other Therapies

How To Deal With Rejection

No matter how successful you may be, you may still experience rejection. Be it in work, family, love, or friendship, rejection is painful. Being rejected makes you feel like you are not good enough, and it often leads to thinking negatively.

Being turned down may stop people from trying to do something again, but how do you effectively deal with rejection? Although it is a painful experience, there are ways that you can bounce back and use it as a motivation to become better.

Acknowledge It

The usual response to rejection is hiding the fact that it made you feel bad. That may work for some people, but dealing with the uncomfortable feeling head-on is the healthier reaction. Take some time to cool your head. Rather than suppressing the emotion that you are feeling, acknowledge it. Admit to yourself  that you feel sad or discouraged, and then you will eventually start feeling a little bit better. “People with a healthy self-esteem tend to view failure as an event. People with low self-esteem often view failure as fatal. This thought process pummels one’s self-esteem and overtime being a failure becomes their identity.” counselor Monte Drenner says.

Reflect On Yourself

Instead of blaming other external forces that led to that moment of rejection, try to reflect on yourself first. What did you do wrong, or did you do anything wrong at all? What can you do the next time to get a better result? After allowing yourself to dwell in your emotions, turn it into an opportunity for self-growth and a motivation to improve.

Ask For Support From Friends Or Family

“When trying to keep a positive attitude, you must avoid people who thrive on negativity,” says Fran Walfish, PsyD. Talking to other people, especially those you are close with, can help in clearing the mental and emotional block that you have been feeling. Surrounding yourself with sympathetic people will help you see things more clearly. As they can offer you another perspective on things, they can provide you feedback that you are looking for.

Talk To A Professional

Sometimes even if you open up to your family and friends, their words of encouragement may feel like a required consolation of some sort. Sometimes they do not offer the right words or advice that you need at the time. Do not be afraid of seeking help from counselors, therapists, and other support services to help you heal.

Build Your Self-Esteem

In Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. blog, she says, “If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it is encouraged that you seek some type of help and support to work through this issue, and to help you be the best version of yourself that you can be.” Let yourself feel the negative emotions, but do not dwell on it for a long time. Focus on fostering your growth. Accomplish things one at a time and build up your confidence to try on new ideas. Make a list of activities that you want to accomplish, and by the end of it, it will remind you that there are still good things left to look forward to.

Do Not Let It Be The End

Process all the things that have happened before and after the rejection. You may hurt for a while, but do not ever let rejection define you. Failing is okay, but do not be limited by it. Successful people did not reach their current state of life without ever experiencing heartaches first.

You learn from every failure, and it is a normal part of life. Learn from the experience and bounce back as a stronger you.

 

Regardless of position or industry, at some point, we would have to deal with a rude or unreasonable client. When selling vehicles or real estate, salespeople face clients who refuse to listen and, at times, are uptight when negotiating prices and freebies. In the field of technology, clients bash programmers for the tiniest details in the application. In the food service industry, waiters would occasionally have to deal with the rude customer.

Handling someone who is irate is one of the leading sources of stress in the work environment. As Sonja Seglin, LCPC explains, “Stress can seem omnipresent. Between working, socializing and taking care of the home, it sometimes seems we don’t have a minute to ourselves, let alone enough time to really take care of our bodies and minds.” Whether clients are somewhat justified or are downright unreasonable with their gripes and demands, find out a few expert tactics to get out of the situation feeling fresh and unscathed.

Source: pixabay.com

Tip #1: Maintain A Calm Demeanor

Do not stoop down to the level of the client. When they shout or utter offensive language, there is nothing to win if you act the same. If you respond harshly, the outcome will not be right for you, as the conflict will escalate to a level it should not reach. Keep hold of your mood and reactions at the moment and let the stress out elsewhere later on. “overwhelm might manifest as an intense emotion, such as anxiety, anger or irritability; maladaptive thought process, such as worry, doubt or helplessness; and behavior, such as crying, lashing out or experiencing a panic attack.” That is according to Marla W. Deibler, PsyD

Tip #2: Do Not Take Things Personally

In most cases, the customer is angry at the product or service, not at you. When a client gets mad because the car you sold was defective, the client is mad that the car is faulty. A customer complaining about the food being too bland is complaining about the blandness of the food. Only in rare cases would clients attack you because of you. Keep the personal out of the equation and remain professional about the entire situation.

Source: pixabay.com

Tip #3: Listen And Take Note Of What Matters

When a person keeps going on about their problems with a product or service, the best approach is to pay attention to what they say. Moving beyond the sludge of uncalled-for words and the rising volume of voices, you need to figure out and identify what the problem is. Similar to those tricky reading comprehension exams, you need to understand the entire story, weed out the unnecessary information, and determine the main problem.

Tip #4: Divert The Flow Of The Conversation To The Solution

Once you have identified the problem, it is now time to move on to find the answer to the concern. The client is unreasonable because they are currently facing an issue with the product or service you have provided. Once you have determined the problem, you have to find the key to sorting things out. You can do this by checking what you did in the past or asking experts to help correct the problem. Once you have provided the solution, there is no reason for there to be an unreasonable client. “We should examine the inextricable role that self-love plays in any and all human connection.” A reminder from Clinical Psychologist and relationship expert Molly Gasbarrini, Ph.D. 

Source: pixabay.com

Tip #5: Sympathize

Showing sympathy is arguably the most effective and efficient strategy for anyone facing an angry customer. The fact of the matter is the client is not satisfied. If the client genuinely sees your concern and senses an effort from your end to address such concern, the customer will no longer show any hostility towards you. Make an effort to truly understand and realize that it will be a win-win situation for everyone if we turn conflict into an effort to fix the problem.

The effectiveness of these tips will require patience and determination. Facing irate customers is tough for everyone, but knowing how to handle them better will bring you relief.

Statistics confirm that one out of five teenagers under 18 years old suffers from various mental illnesses. In terms of the mental disorders diagnosed among the youth, depression leads the category. With the increasing number of individuals affected, it is essential to keep the conversation going and break the stigma on mental health. Here are the best mental health books that you should read to help enlighten you on this complicated issue.

Source: goodreads.com

The Marriage Plot: A Novel

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides is one of the winners of the Pulitzer Prize. The story revolves around an English major at Brown named Madeline, who was trying to go back to the right path of life through her love for Victorian literature. On the side, the book also tackled the complicated relationship she had with Leonard.

Most readers say that Leonard is a possible fictional stand-in for a friend of the author named David Foster Wallace. According to them, he had been suffering from depression for more than half of his life and ultimately took his own life.

“While suicide is a very serious health and national problem that requires our attention, an even less public reality is that many of us have had suicidal thoughts at one point or another in our lives.” –Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC

Source: goodreads.com

Reasons To Stay Alive

This book by Matt Haig is one of the best books tackling the lives of those with depression and anxiety. Not only does it focus on the big things that happen beyond this mental disorder, but it also focuses on the little things that happen in their lives.

“Look at negative thoughts like reruns of a TV show you’ve seen a million times. Let them play in the background while you shift your focus to something else.” –Jo Eckler, PsyD

What’s also good about this book is that it is made up of lists, anecdotes, and bite-sized chapters that are easy to read. The size of the book also lets you place it anywhere, even in your back pockets.

Anxiety For Beginners

Eleanor Morgan’s Anxiety for Beginners explores the impact of anxiety on those affected by it directly or by proxy. The author also puts lightness to the read in between grueling narratives like the chapters “A Total Fucker” and “Two Lites of Pus.”

It is also an excellent read for people who want to raise their awareness regarding the matter. The book is the best way for them to work their way on the different spectrums of the human mind.

Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me

The author, Ellen Forney, focused on her own life story dealing with bipolar disorder. She narrates how she was diagnosed with it and how she overcame its consequences through reading and writing. She also tackled the dangers of equating mental illness with creativity and intelligence, an issue that is rampant but is not touched on.

Source: goodreads.com

There Is No Right Way To Meditate

In this book, award-winning writer Yumi Sakugawa tries to guide you into tapping your inner self to help find the peace and fulfillment that you have been seeking. What’s nice about There Is No Right Way To Meditate is that it starts with simple tips on everyday matters to more complex topics like living in the present through self-awareness.

“Meditation is not just relaxing, but to be keenly aware of the present moment while not interfering with mental activities that revolve around our little self.” –Andrea F. Polard, PsyD

This piece will dig deeper into your inner soul and unconsciously make you traverse the road of tranquility.

These five books will help you, whether you are having a difficult time or you want to be aware of mental health issues. You may also ask for the assistance of some therapists in cases that are too complicated to handle through reading books alone.

There are various ways on how to cope with mental health problems and therapy is one of them. One of the most famous kind approaches to these disorders is popularly known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). What most patients are not aware that there is another treatment strategy which might be more apt with their condition and it is called the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

REBT is a type of behavioral therapy which was introduced by the famous Dr. Albert Ellis in the year 1955. Its approach deviates a little bit from traditional counseling and treatment; for this reason, coined as a revolutionary way of dealing with mental health problems. However, it is also seen to have similarities with CBT. Both types of therapies focus more on human emotions and behaviors which zooms ins to ideas, beliefs, attitudes, and thinking.

“Therapy is right for anyone who is interested in getting the most out of their life by taking responsibility, creating greater self-awareness, and working towards change in their lives.” –Chris Corbett, PsyD

Continue reading “Approaches To Mental Health Problems: REBT Vs CBT”

There are several therapists available in your local community, but not everyone can handle your case. Keep in mind that therapy is consists of many branches and specializations. As such, it is safe to conclude that some mental health professionals are not as good as the others. What this simply means is that each therapist has a particular field of expertise. For this reason, it is essential for you to select the right professional who is an expert on the mental issue that you are going through or that of a family member.

 

 

In this article, we are going to provide you with the top guidelines on how to choose a therapist who is good in rational emotive behavior therapy. As already mentioned above, it is crucial to do it so that you will not have a hard time dealing with your problem. Keep in mind that a wrong choice of therapist can make the situations a lot worse on your part. Make sure to remember these:

 

Learn About REBT

 

The first thing that you must do is to study REBT or rational emotive behavior therapy. Avoid getting information from unreliable sources because it will only make you paranoid. Remember that REBT is one of the treatments available for people who are suffering from stress, anxiety, and depression. What you need to do is to study more about this treatment before booking an appointment with an expert. In so doing, you can get a guarantee that the therapist whom you will contact in the future cannot trick you in believing into something that is not true. “A good therapist should be open and willing to understand your concerns. If your counselor doesn’t take your concerns seriously or is unwilling to accept feedback, then it’s probably in your best interest to consult with another therapist about it.” Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC explains.

 

Ask For Recommendations

 

Do you know someone who has suffered from severe mental illness or psychological disorder? Is it possible for you to contact this person? If yes, then consider yourself lucky because you can get leads for the top REBT therapists in the city. Use your connection with the said individual to inquire about his previous engagement with a therapist. Be honest in asking information about it so that he will feel comfortable to open up. Take note that not everyone, who has gone through such experience, may be willing to talk about engaging the services of a therapist.

 

Read The Journals

 

Find time to get access to journals related to the field of mental health and psychology. These resources contain studies and findings of the top players in the industry. Intelligent therapists, physiatrists, and psychologists are the authors of these publications. Once you read the articles, you can already get an impression about the professional who is behind this. As such, it will be a lot easier on your part to choose the therapist. As much as possible, look for someone who has been practicing rational emotive behavior therapy for a long time already. Remember that the older a professional is in a particular profession, the better she becomes in doing at it. Obtain these journals on their original copies.

 

Check Reviews Online

 

One of the best advantages of technology is easy access to websites that contain certain information about specific topics. If you are the kind of person who can make time for online research, it is best if you would look into the written reviews and testimonials of the clients of the said therapist. Be sure to check or verify the authenticity of the review to ensure that everything that you have read is true. If possible, do not forget to check the profile of every person who has written the review. From there, you can already see if the said individual can be trusted or not. Same as the idea that “Experience and credentials are important, but it’s usually the personality of a therapist and the therapeutic rapport that develops between teen and therapist that is the most important factor of all.” Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW said.

 

 

Book Ahead Of Time

 

Once you have chosen the right therapist who specializes in REBT, be sure that you will book for an appointment ahead of time. Remember that you cannot barge-in directly into the therapist’ office and expect him to accommodate you right away. Take note that you are not the only one who is in need of the services of the said professional. Respect his time by calling the office and asking his secretary about available appointments. Do not expect everything revolves around you. There are some steps that you must complete before you can have one-on-one interaction with the therapist.

 

 

Conclusion

 

Searching for a therapist does not need to be difficult and challenging. What is important is for you to take good care of yourself while waiting for an appointment with the therapist. Avoid making irrational and rash decisions when it comes to selecting the professional who will help you become more mentally stable and well. As long as you follow the tips and tricks mentioned above, you will not have a hard time. The best advice to keep in mind is to take it slow so that you can still see the endless opportunities that are available on your part. “The foundation of therapy is based on the relationship you build with your therapist. When seeking someone out it’s important you feel comfortable with them.” A reminder from Elana Schechtman-Gil LMFT

 

There are several reasons why a marriage fails. A married couple needs to understand that their union does not only depend on how much they love each other. It is also crucial for them to consider other factors that can lead to their separation. If you are a married individual, then you are probably aware that even if you have so much love for the other spouse, there will come a time when you would experience difficulties that can make you think about divorce.

 

Fortunately, there are many ways on how you can resolve the issues affecting your marriage and one of which is to seek for professional help. Nowadays, you can already get in touch with professional marriage counselors who can provide their expert advice about your current situation.  “Many people also find that counselors can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life.” Chris Corbett, PsyD said. In this article, we are going to share with you the top reasons why marriage counseling is an effective method of resolving marital issues:

 

Pinpoints The Root Cause

Did you know that many marriages fail without the parties fully knowing the primary reasons why it happened? All they know is that they have grown far away from each other, but they cannot pinpoint the exact root causes that lead to the separation. “Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like”  Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC explains. This problem can be solved with the assistance of a marriage counselor. This professional can help you and your partner to identify the root cause of issues in the relationship. As such, you have a better chance of addressing the problems while they are still fresh or new.

Reminds You Of Happy Memories

According to Katrina Bilhimer, Ma, LMHC “Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of marital infidelity, something is wrong in the marriage. Either the husband or the wife is unhappy and likely both.”When a couple keeps on fighting about certain things or issues, there is a high possibility that separation will take place. The reason behind this occurrence is that they both stopped thinking about the happy memories that they shared. Instead, they will start to focus on the negative aspects or parts of the marriage. With the assistance of a relationship counselor, the parties involved will be reminded of why they married each other in the first place. They will begin to realize that they shared more happy moments than the bad ones.

 

Facilitates Conversations Between The Couple

Communication is essential for a successful marriage. You cannot expect the relationship to work if you do not know how to talk to your partner about all the things that affect you. Because of this, it is imperative for each spouse to find a way to engage in conversations with each other. The moment you experience challenges in talking to your partner, make sure to get in touch with a counselor immediately. This professional can help both of you to start having meaningful conversations. The communication barriers will be eliminated, which can lead to the development of a more intimate connection with each other.

In searching for a marriage counselor, it is crucial for you to ask for the recommendations of other couples who have tried the former’s services. Do not hesitate to ask around to ensure that you will not have a hard time finding the perfect counselor. Be sure to act fast so that the issues can be resolved at their early stages.